King of Iron Hearts Page 5

  I thought of her

  In the dark folds of night

  Between the pages of the sun’s set and rise

  I thought of her in the midnight hours

  With my fist around my flesh

  Until I spilled like moonlight across my chest

  The last time I prayed

  It was at the altar of her sex

  I dipped my finger in the holy waters

  Anointed my tongue and baptized my lips

  Until I was pure and made whole

  By the religion of our love

  She was small

  But her heart was so large

  I could see it behind her eyes

  She made me feel ten feet tall and

  Strong enough to move the world

  How such a little thing could have powers

  So immense

  I’ll never know

  Mostly because

  She will never tell

  The secret power of the woman behind the man.

  He folded my legs back

  Like two halves of a book open for him to read

  Not to read

  To venerate

  To dedicate to memory so that

  He could recite the taste of me

  The smell of me

  Anytime he wanted

  They say you need an act of God to find a miracle

  I found mine pressed between her lips

  When she smiled

  In whatever planes of existence there are

  On any star or parallel planet

  You and I are together

  Infinitely

  Inevitably

  Because nothing makes sense

  In any language or any place

  Without our love to decode life’s purpose

  You are a light that never goes out, no matter how dark my world becomes.

  Nightlight.

  She took my strained silence

  And turned it to velvet

  Wound the soft edges around my jagged soul

  And swaddled me in the comfort of her love.

  You bring me peace

  By inciting madness

  Because nothing feels so big

  So hard and unendurable

  When chaos reigns beside you

  What a simple question it is

  To ask what brings me the most joy.

  Some may say there is no simple answer

  But my response will always be:

  Her.

  Today, tomorrow, and yesterday.

  Under the awning of the bookstore

  When I kissed her ink stained fingers.

  In the sheets of our bed before the dawn

  Is even a thought on the horizon

  With her face

  Tucked under my arm like a sleeping swan

  Beside the garage where the scent of tar

  And gasoline is strong

  But all I can smell is the apple

  And sunshine scent of

  Her.

  You are more than the reason behind one smile.

  You own the lease on my happiness.

  Lion-hearted girl

  Who taught you to mute your roar

  Who took you to the zoo and told you that is where the lions roam?

  When in truth it is the lioness

  Who hunts down their prey

  Who feeds their young

  And protects the king of their jungle

  So what does that make you, lion girl?

  Queen of them all.

  Is it any wonder there are so many lovers

  Between May and December?

  That the yin of fresh morning hours and heady new flowers

  Would fit with the yang of twilight evenings and seasoned feelings

  That someone so much younger could blossom under the authority

  Of someone with real maturity

  Love’s duality.

  When I tell you to

  Hush

  It is not because

  I don’t love the sound

  Of your voice around the words

  You want to say

  Or the brain behind the power

  To say them

  I tell you to

  Hush

  Because you have a sharp tongue

  To service your angry eyes

  But a tender heart

  That bruises after you

  Weaponize your words

  I tell you to

  hush

  When you say my name

  Like a benediction

  Or a prayer

  Because I’ve read the desire

  In your body

  More eloquent than any words said

  I tell you, my darling,

  To

  Hush

  Because I know you

  Not because I want to stop you

  Because I am proud of the knowing

  And I love showing

  Just how much I care

  She was half heaven half hell

  And each met at the apex of her thighs.

  When I worshiped there

  It was both a prayer and a sin.

  She was a queen

  Raised to sit on a golden throne

  In a kingdom of crystal and ice

  All I had to offer was my sword of smoke and world of gasoline

  With soldiers shielded by leather and coated in tatts

  My currency was love and loyalty

  In a market that traded in diamonds and class

  I would do anything to convince her

  That she might have been raised to sit on a golden throne

  But she belonged on the seat of iron with a crown of steel

  At my side

  I found what I loved.

  I was lucky

  Because I know many don’t

  So while I wasn’t exactly happy to do it

  ––To leave––

  I knew I had found what I loved

  And I was happy to let them kill me for it.

  I’ve been making a puzzle my entire life

  Exchanging pieces of my heart

  With pieces from other’s souls

  The trick is

  ––When they inevitably leave you––

  To make a puzzle

  That’s missing

  It’s portions

  Those with certain faiths know

  That life is to be endured

  Ruled by psalms and bibles

  A sentence well served

  So when the time comes to die

  You will be blessed in heaven

  And not cursed to bowls of a dire hell

  Only, you are my heaven on earth

  And the only hell I will ever know is

  Life or death without you

  You are not perfect

  But

  I want to kiss each imperfection

  Like a constellation of freckles

  On your skin

  Connect the dots between them

  Until they are fully understood

  And remember

  That I have the privilege of knowing

  What so many others

  Have wished they could

  An astronomist; I stare and wonder.

  Dirty Poetry.

  I admit

  I love

  The crest of your hips against mine

  The way your feet cross like a bow tied around my back

  But I feel no shame in saying

  It is the way I breathe words into your neck

  And feel them sink into your skin

  Floating through your head

  Until you moan them back

  That makes me come

  Because there is no greater high

  Than fucking your mind.

  Wet leaked from her sex

  Like an overturned jar

  Of honey

  I was a bear

  A beast

  It was in my nature

  To crouch
between her legs

  Dip my fingers in in the nectar

  And feast until the jar ran

  Dry

  Will you finally trust me

  If I promise never to leave

  If even

  When I die

  I vow to return

  To ghost beside you as you live on

  To haunt you gently through the days

  To protect you like a poltergeist in violent bursts of energy

  To dismiss St. Peter’s pearly gates

  So that I may continue my heaven with you

  Even if I cannot touch you

  Talk to you

  Press the kisses you like to the backs of your hands

  I will eschew it all

  If it means finally

  You’ll trust me

  I’ll never stop loving you.

  I wanted a rough love

  A tough love

  An ‘I would fight for you’ love

  A demonic possession kinda love

  That fills you up to the brim

  So nothing else exists and you almost

  —but not quite—

  Forget yourself

  The love people think you can

  Exorcise

  The love priests condemn

  That makes angels plummet

  Straight through earth

  Into the sweltering embrace of hell

  Because some things are even lovelier

  In the dark

  Black is my favourite colour.

  Do you know why a biker calls his woman

  Old Lady?

  Because he knows that he will still love her

  When their romance is old and their hair is gray

  Because he knows the only thing that will change

  With time

  Is that every day

  He will grow to love her more

  I want to teach my sons

  That the only kind of man

  They should aspire to be

  Is the human

  Who is kind to every being.

  If I go

  And do not return

  You must know

  That I wear you forever in my side

  A broken rib that beats with its own pulse

  Like a second heart in my chest

  A piece of you inside me

  I would never return

  Not even to heal myself of the pain

  That comes from knowing

  You might never be mine again

  When I die

  I want to do it

  With your love like celestial dust

  In my veins

  So when my body turns to ash

  My soul will soar

  And our love will be eternalized

  In the stars

  When I’m gone

  Here are the things I want you to know:

  I want you to know the first time I saw you,

  I felt the shape of my heart in my chest

  The weight of each beat, the heat of each churning chamber.

  It all came alive as I looked at you and

  Knew

  My heart was never mine to own.

  It had always been lost and yours

  And in that moment, it was found.

  I want you to know the first time we kissed

  My toes curled and my mind went blank

  Pure, blissful meditation in physical manifestation

  The taste on your tongue was honey

  Pressed between my teeth

  And I knew

  I would kiss you for the rest of my life if I could

  And now,

  I know I did.

  I want you to know that sex with you

  Was so much more than fingers and tongues

  The flutter of our lids

  That I prayed between your parted thighs

  And worshiped at the twin temples of your breast

  The way a votary does for his God

  And I knew

  I would always be your zealot

  Patient and enduring

  Fervent to the point of sin.

  I want you to know when I am gone

  That you gave me the greatest gift a person can

  You gifted me your heart

  But you also gave me mine

  Through the prism of your love

  I found the meaning of my life.

  Just remember in those moments when I am not there

  That my life changed the moment I saw you.

  A parking lot became a kingdom

  For an asphalt ruler of bikes and men

  And his chrome queen who reigned over them all.

  When the King dies

  The revolution begins

  They had no choice to go to war

  Brother against brother

  Because the king was dead

  The kingdom was fractured

  And there was no him left to hold it together.

  Definition:

  Also referred to as a blind. Hand of cards placed face down on the table so that they are not visible to the players.

  The king is dead

  Goddamn the queen.

  You never said goodbye.

  And you always did before.

  At the door to our house before work with a kiss I felt in my toes.

  You never said goodbye

  And you promised me you would

  When the day came that we went to sleep holding hands

  Knowing

  That we would not wake up again.

  You never said goodbye

  And now I can’t help feeling

  That this isn’t a goodbye for good.

  That one day when I am sitting in the kitchen

  You will come in carrying apples and tell me to

  Bake you a pie like I did that very first day we were in love

  I’ll have flour in my hair and juice on my cheek

  That you’ll lick off with laughing lips

  And everything will have been

  As it was before

  When you were still here.

  He was no Prince Charming

  On a white steed galloping with the wind

  In his golden hair

  Oh, he had a ride under his thighs

  Made of iron and chrome

  And a kingdom at his command

  Made of rebels and ruffians

  But he was no story book hero

  He was my real-life knight in leather on his beast of metal

  And he was coming for me

  He was too young, too wild and reckless, filled to the brim with sex and vigor.

  His eyes promised to burn me alive, incinerate my inhibitions, char my morals into ash and my soul into tinder.

  He held the torch, the threat against everything I had ever stood for, and he had the audacity to tell me to come closer.

  Yet, I found myself obeying.

  Willingly, I lay myself on the pyre at his feet with open arms.

  Because if I was going to burn, I was going to make sure we did it together.

  I was a storm of calamity

  Cast adrift on a sea of black doings

  And loosely drawn rebel rules

  He was an old growth oak

  With roots sunk deep in the earth

  Limbs stretching wide across the sky

  Standing sentry across centuries

  As the world toiled away beneath its leaves

  I could whip around that kind of man

  Cause hurricanes with my spirit

  Quake the earth with my tempers

  But he would remain forever unmoved

  Standing tall and strong and free

  I think that’s why I liked him.

  I didn’t know how much was enough

  Until I met you

  And never again thought to ask for more

  Each time you touch me, I fall to pieces. Fragments of my soul scattered all over the floor. But I know you will kneel amongst the
carnage and piece me back together fraction by fraction like a tactile mathematician until I am whole once more but changed for the better by the texture of your hands on my soul.

  You were everything I aspired to be

  Tall and strong like an oak

  Flourishing with burnished leaves

  The colour of your eyes

  I grew around you like a vine

  Seeking your heat and light

  Because without you I would wither

  Even if I would not die

  And after a few years of carrying

  My weight

  You encouraged me to more

  And when I grew my own roots

  We stood together in the earth

  Together ‘til we died

  The nature of true friendship.

  I don’t need romance

  In candy hearts and roses

  I need romance

  In my back against a tree

  Skirt rucked up by a strong hand

  The other spreading my knees

  I need the love of your body

  Not in cheek kisses and holding hands

  I need your body

  To meet my sinful flesh’s greedy demands